If you are anything like me, you may think going out after having kids is not possible. I am a mom of three kids under the age of 8, so for many reasons I used to think allowing myself a night out was ridiculous because my kids were my FULL TIME job (Don’t worry my munchkins still are!). It’s just that I’ve always had this little voice of guilt in my head telling me it’s not okay to go out once you have kids; Of course there were infinite reasons: I don’t have time to schedule it, I am not good at making plans, I’m too busy, I’m happily married, I don’t have a sitter, or maybe you just don’t have close girlfriends to go out with. Let me clarify what I mean when I say “go out.” I mean allow yourself the freedom to go grab drinks with some co-workers after a long week, allow yourself the impromptu sushi date with a new friend, do the mid-day lunch that you would usually turn down and definitely try a real night out with dancing, drinks and fun!
I know it is easy to find excuses why you can’t but I am hoping this blog encourages you to come up with some reasons why you can! After I moved to the Northshore, I was fortunate enough to meet a friend who convinced me it was okay to have “Me time.” Not only did she tell me it was okay; she encouraged it and wouldn’t accept my lame excuses when I would come up with reasons not to do things. I am so grateful that she pushed me to do more for myself because once I let my guard down, it opened up many doors I hadn’t realized I had closed for years. If you are still not convinced, here are some reasons why you should do it!
Reasons Why Moms’ Nights Out Are Good For The Soul:
Cultivating Relationships Outside Your Family
Moms’ Nights Out are important, so that you can have your own self-identity. It is also reassuring to have girlfriends that you can confide in who are going through the same stages of life as you. Sometimes it is a relief just to talk with someone and get it all out there! Being vulnerable and opening up to other women about similar experiences you have shared is cathartic. It can also be a lot of fun to live vicariously through your friends who may be single. Seriously though, studies have reported friendships among women tend to boost the levels of oxytocin in the body. This helps reduce stress! Fostering close friendships also reduces the risk of mortality. Strong friendships and social relationships have the power to reduce mortality by 50%. Who doesn’t want to live longer?! As if we need one more reason to get together with friends and crack open a bottle of wine!
Let’s be real. nine times out of ten, there is a little person in your personal space most of the day. If you’re lucky like me and work with children or stay at home with your own, there is a 10/10 chance someone is in your personal space all day long! This is why it is crucial to give yourself the opportunity to have some free time to just enjoy your space. It’s easy to get lost in the daily shuffle of everyday life: same routines, same places, same daily motions. What’s not easy to do is stepping out of your comfort zone and doing things by yourself or with friends. It doesn’t always have to be a night out with others. The other night I treated myself to a pedicure and it was pure bliss. The nail technician apologized for keeping me waiting ten minutes in the most peaceful relaxation room. My response: “Are you kidding me?! This is the most downtime I get all week!” Sometimes moms just need a quiet place to be for their “time out.” Sometimes after being with kids all day, I crave adult time. I realized this one day after I told my husband “I need to go potty” or my other favorite, “Can you get me a band aid for my bobo?” It was then I realized wow, I’m using my “kid voice” with other adults and things are getting weird! He’s not always thrilled to watch all of our kids so I can go off and do things but I have finally put my foot down and said “Sorry I’m taking time for myself!” I’m also a night owl so doing things after putting my kids to bed is kind of what I prefer to do. Then I don’t suffer from any guilt.
Be A YES Mom, but also a NO One
It’s easy to say no and find excuses as to why we can’t do things. However, by saying yes, we are opening the doors to new and exciting things. Think about the nagging friend always talking about how great her workout class is and asking you to join her. Say yes; you may end up enjoying it as much as she does! Maybe you never go into the city for events, but there is a big event coming that you’d like to attend. Do it; say yes! I get we can’t say yes to everything (obviously) but sometimes it’s good to step outside your comfort zone and just do it. It’s hard to feel “good enough” in society now a days with the pressure to put on a show of how great our lives are on social media, the people who are always going to “one-up you,” and those who just don’t seem to ever have anything nice to say. Saying yes and doing different things to help yourself be the best version of you shouldn’t be difficult to do. Remember, I’m not saying do everything and say yes all the time, there are plenty of reasons to say no too. Say no to the third birthday party scheduled on the same time overlapping with the other two. (You don’t always have to run yourself ragged and make every event.) Say no to the boss always asking you to do extra things after hours because clearly they don’t respect your work/life balance. Say no to the toxic family member or friend who constantly tries to bring you down with their negative energy. Say no to the husbands who aren’t pulling their weight and doing their fair share. Say no to mean-girl moms who create drama and only make your life harder to navigate. Last, but not least, say no to your kids (because guess what, they can do things for themselves sometimes too!) What I’m trying to say is open yourself up and allow that inner peace and happiness to fill your soul by taking time for yourself, whether it means saying yes or no!
Some Ideas For Moms’ Night Out
-Go to your local “downtown scene” for a night out with dancing and drinks.
-Attend a concert.
-Try a new restaurant with exotic food.
-Go to an escape room.
-Go to a pool, hot tub, sauna.
-Get a hotel room for the night with friends.
-Go to a Casino.
-Do a themed game night.
-Watch a movie in the theatre.
-Go see a play.
-Take a new class.
-Do a spa day.
I think we can all agree moms have some of the toughest jobs on Earth. We are the planners, caregivers, nurses, teachers, financial advisers and much more to our families. In a survey given by Welch’s the average mom works almost 100 hours a week with their days beginning at 6:32am and ending at 8:31pm. That’s a 14 hour day! No wonder we are exhausted. (No offense to dads–their jobs can be hard too!) As a mom, though, it is easy to forget who we were before having these little tiny humans that depend on us for EVERYTHING. By having a mom’s night out, we are allowing ourselves the chance to be free and be our “old self” even if it is for less than twenty four hours! I am proud to say that this year I am allowing myself to go on a girls’ trip and leave my kids for more than 24 hours. It’s my first time in 9 years ever doing a girls trip, so this is huge. I’m sure there will be some judgement, but I am a firm believer in not putting too much emphasis on what other people think. Mommy’s mental health should be top priority and if taking some time for yourself makes you a better mom and partner than please by all means do it!
If you are looking for something fun to do locally where you can meet new women and enjoy a night out, please join us for our very own Northshore Parent Mom’s Night Out. The theme this year is “Beach Please!” The party will happen from 7pm-10pm at Nan’s Café on August 18th. Tickets include tropical-themed buffet, signature cocktails, shopping with exclusive vendors, and lots of music to dance to. Don’t forget the best part..no kids! To buy your ticket, click the link below! https://www.eventbrite.com/e/northshore-parent-presents-beach-please-a-moms-night-out-event-sponsored-by-slent-tickets-48216209982 I hope to see you there. I know I personally will be soaking up every minute of my Mom’s Night Out!