I use “moms” in this post but really this could apply to moms, dads, grandparents, or anyone who’s just been handed the Hurculean task of caring for their children at home with no trips for the next thirty days or so.
So we’ve been quarantined for a couple days now here on the Northshore. We spent the weekend at home which felt normal because my husband was here, but now he’s returned to work, I’ve put my babysitter on hold(ish), and it’s just me and the kids all day with no trips out. I’m supposed to be a working but a big part of my day is spent mindlessly staring at Facebook. I’m not sure if it’s the stress or the endless distractions (Mom! I just found Simon says in minecraft!) but it is what it is. I just keep staring at that little screen hoping it will tell me what to do or when exactly this is supposed to be over.
As often happens, patterns emerge. People are posting their lives online and I see the moms and dads around me attempting to adjust. We all do it our own way, but there are definitely some broad categories that people are falling into. So, here it is as I see it: the five types of Parents you see during quarantine.
This is really just the opportunity she’s been waiting for. She’s signed her kids up for Kahn Academy, she’s got homemade bread rising in the bread maker and she’s deep-cleaned both her bathrooms. She’s got plenty of craft materials on hand so boredom isn’t an issue. She does miss the going out but deep down thinks maybe she should be quarantined more often because she’s getting so much done.
Her life just got easier. She no longer has to put on a bra and get her kids on the bus each morning, so basically she’s winning at life. She doesn’t like going places or putting on real clothes so her kids haven’t noticed much of a difference. And she doesn’t even have to think of an excuse for why she isn’t going to that birthday party. She’s worried about things, but her schedule hasn’t changed much. Don’t have to wash your hands if you never go outside!
This is her moment. She already has hospital grade wipes, a wide variety of hand sanitizers, and she worries about sickness all the time anyway. She KNEW you people were dirty and now she’s got the proof. She would actually feel relaxed if it weren’t for all the people online wondering what the big deal is. She will hit them with the graphs if she needs to, but can’t you just come around to her way of thinking? The world would be a better place if everyone did.
The Eff it Mom
Look, she has a lot of kids and apparently those suckers eat three times a day. She loves them to pieces but her living room looks like a daycare, her kitchen has become a buffet, and no one is wearing pants. Screen time? Good by her! Anything to keep the house standing.
The Schedule Mom
She’s in deep denial. Deep. She has her alarm set and her kids are still putting on their uniforms. She just knows the kids will be back to school in two weeks and everything will go back to normal. She’s got a color-coded schedule that she posted on Facebook in case anyone else could use it. She’s got lunches and snacks planned. She doesn’t know why Eff is Mom is having such a hard time.
Did you see yourself? Maybe you did and maybe you didn’t. Maybe you’ve seen a bunch of other types we didn’t mention. Let us know!