The Sleep Deprivation
In college you would pull an all-nighter and think that was sleep deprivation. Then you had kids and realized you could go weeks getting sleep that only comes in short, interrupted burst. At some point you start to suspect that torture techniques were actually developed by new parents. You wonder what it will feel like to ever sleep for more than two hours at a time. Luckily, that day does eventually come (I promise–I have four kids and they all figured it out eventually). And when it does? You’ll have the best sleep of your life.
The Mess
Ketchup on the ceiling? The content of an entire toy box spilled out in 60 seconds? An whole box of goldfish on the floor while you answer the phone? How about seven towels for one bath? Or maybe an “art project” that spans multiple walls and/or pieces of furniture? No one can make a mess faster or with more expertise than two-year-old. You really can’t imagine what they’re capable until you’ve seen it for yourself.
The Gross
You’ve heard the stories. Poop flying across rooms, catching vomit in your hands, finding forgotten leftovers in places you never thought possible. Unless you’ve already done a stint as a nurse, the gross will be more than you expected.
The Excuses
I can’t wear that underwear because it’s scary. It wasn’t me didn’t flush the toilet. Must have been my brother who is still in diapers. School? I can’t go to school today–the dog would be lonely. Creative and hilarious, you never know what excuse your kid might come up with.
The Adorable
They call a duck a guck. They wear their underwear on the their head. Sometimes they wake you up by peeling back your eyelids, but they always have a HUGE smile on their face when they do it. I smiled just now as I wrote that. There is nothing cuter than a tiny person and all the ridiculous antics they get into every day.
The Boobs
You may think you have big boobs. You may think you have no boobs. Doesn’t matter–your boobs WILL be different if you get pregnant and give birth. Then they’re going to do things you never saw coming–they’re going to MAKE FOOD. Then they’ll completely belong to someone else. Life will never be the same.
The Love
It’s cheesy, but it’s completely true. The love you feel for your children is like nothing you have ever felt before. You think about them all day, and all night. From the minute you get up until the minute you go to sleep. You’ll even dream about them. Children change the way you even think about the word. Unexpected doesn’t begin to describe it.
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Parenthood brings a lot of unexpected twists and turns, but there are some things you can prepare for. Make sure you have all your affairs in order. If you haven’t made a will you can contact our sponsor, Christie Tournet. She can help you with wills, trusts, and any other documents you need for the unexpected turns life can take. On the web or call (985) 674-6680.
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